Rules For Camping :
Well This weekend is my annual camping trip with my college roommates. We came up with a list of rules for this years trip. They are basically all based of events that have happened on past trips. No one but my roommates will probably find this amusing but oh well…
Air Mattresses are not to be used for skiing
Use Steel Cable to hold up your hammock. If you have to use dental floss like twine instead of steel cable, do not position your hammock over a stump, because you will be going down.
Always place your folding chair on level ground. If you are not on level ground, then use rocks to level up your chair. This will not only ensure that you fall over, but it will also provide something for you to land on genius.
Ice is not FREE
If you guzzle straight vodka with a 1% “Kool-Aid” mixture you will yoodle (puke).
If you arrive late to the campsite, do not try and play catch up by guzzling straight vodka. (see above)
Metal Cooking grates are not to be used as weapons and should be chained down at all times.
Drinking straight rye whiskey will turn you into a complete asshole.
Drinking straight rye whiskey will get you thrown on the ground. (see above)
Drinking straight rye whiskey will make you sleep with your head outside your tent in the dirt for the whole night….happ
If you get hit with something then Bill threw it! Not anybody else.
This is not the Stihl Timbersports Series and you are not a lumberjack, so leave the chainsaws at home.
(2) cases of beer is the minimum. If it is a 3 day campout, then the minimum is (2) 30 packs.
If you can’t meet the minimum requirements for beer consumption then you will not be allowed back next year!
Woodchuck hard cider does not count towards your minimum beer consumption requirement.
NO FIREARMS Allowed. You don’t need a 357 magnum to kill a chipmunk there stedman.
No matter how many beers you have had, the 3 girl’s at the Redfield Hotel are not hot!
The maximum carrying capacity for a john boat is not 4000lbs.
If the top of the john boat is .003″ above the water line while in tow……just drive faster.
“Silent Lucidity” off of the “Empire” album By Queensryche must be performed atleast 3 times everynight.
“Chattahoochee” by Alan Jackson must be performed atleast 3 times everynight.
“For Those About To Rock”………”FIRE”…….Must be screamed atleast 7 times everynight.
If there is a camp fire off in the distance, it is not 10 hot chicks. But you must still yell “SUCK US” at the top of your lungs.
If you get chewing tobacco in your eyes…….wash them out with beer ya pussy.
Do not attempt to nail a half full can of chewing tobacco to a tree (see above)….woody
Beer drinking must commence no later than 9:00 am every morning.
You are not allowed to stop drinking to take a nap. You might as well go home pussy.
Do not sleep next to anyone named GUS. You will wake up covered with a foul odor. Take bath in tomato soup to get rid of odor.
Lip Provided By: sweens
June 21st, 2005 at 9:53 pm
can i be a token alumni and get invited next year